Chapter II. James and Claire.
James and Claire have been married for twelve years. James works as a financial advisor for a young uprising business. Claire works as a part-time dental hygienist. They have two children (Lindsey and Danny), Danny is 5 and enjoys playing soldier out in the yard with his dad and Lindsey is 4 and enjoys painting pictures of flowers with her mom. James and Claire love their children. They love taking them to water parks and they love having late movie nights and eating popcorn with Danny and Lindsey. They say,"I love you Lindsey, I love you Danny" each night before they go to sleep.
Alright, so we "understand" how Christians fundamentally define love, but what does that mean for the **non-believer? Does he or she truly know what love is? What does that mean for James and Claire, who are non-believers? Do they really love their children?
Well if we asked a non-believer if they loved their child, 9 times out of 10, they would say unquestionably say, "Yes! Of course I love my child". Hmmm. What does that mean? Can a non-believer and a believer both love if they define it differently?
I think that the answer to that is yes. I believe that the distinct difference between the "two-kinds" of love is that the non-believers definition of what love is, is but a fraction of the whole pie. A believer's 'definition' of what love is, is just a little bit bigger of a fraction than that of the non-believer's definition. But that extra sliver, is life giving and gives you a stronger desire to want more of that pie. Let me give you an example.
Tom is a brain surgeon. Roy is a college student studying anatomy. Roy's understanding of what the function of the brain is, is very surface level. Roy knows that there are four main lobes in the brain, each having a specific purpose and function. Each contribute to Roy's daily life in how he reasons, make choices, remember things, move, etc. Tom on the other hand knows the detailed processes of each of those lobes. From a birds eye view, Tom can tell you what the "ventral stream" does in the process of visualizing objects.
It is important to note that Tom's understanding of the brain is not complete or perfect. He cannot perfectly define the entire brain, but as he continues to research and as more things are revealed to him he will continue to learn about the many many facets of the brain. It is also important to note this as well, that Tom is not better than Roy. Tom has invested his time to discover more and more about the brain, because he has realized that it is essential for life. On the other hand, Roy has decided to invest his time on learning about the many products of the brain's activity; physical activity, digestion, breathing, etc. Tom has gone to the source.
Some people might argue about this pie analogy. "A believer's 'definition' of what love is just a little bit bigger of a fraction than that of the non-believer's. But that extra sliver, is life giving and gives you a stronger desire to want more of that pie." The argument might be this: The Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility. If you need a little brush up of what that is, let me walk with you and shed some light. The Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility basic means that, the first bite is always better than the second. That the first time you ever bite into an apple (something that you love) it is always better than the second time you bite into it. But if we continue with Tom and Roy's story, that law doesn't really apply.
Here's why, the FIRST time that Tom began researching and trying to understand the brain, that was not the maximum amount of happiness that he would receive from learning about the brain. Rather the more and more he learned about it, the more and more "happiness" he received. Likewise with love (from a believer's perspective), believer's in this lifetime will never be fully satisfied with just the first bite into love, but the more and more that they search, the more and more "happiness" they will receive from searching.
**Non believers being "defined" as not believing that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and not believing that He rose from the grave after three days and was exalted to the right hand of the Father
