I hate you Satan.

You need to remember this:

Satan is constantly attacking you. In every waking moment he will try to make you stumble. He will try to steal the joy that God has given you. He is always at work. He is always planning against you. He is never for you but always against you. He is trying to get a foothold in all things in your life. He twists the truth. He manipulates the Word of God!! He is deceitful. He lies to you. He whispers to you words of hatred. He tells you that you are not loved. He tells you that God is with holding all things from you. He tells you that you are the most important thing that you could live for. He tells you that Jesus didn't die for you. He tells you that there is no hope in God. He tells you that Jesus isn't coming back. He tells you that you aren't good enough. He tells you that your faith isn't strong enough. He tells you that you can't go to God for help because you are so messed up. He tells you that you are weak. He tells you that there is no God. He tells you that the bible isn't true. He tells you that your God has abandoned you. He wants you to perish. He wants you to burn in hell. He wants the worst for you. He wants you to endure pain. He wants you to feel alone. He wants you to feel disconnected. He wants you isolated. He wants you away from the body of Christ. He wants you afraid. He wants you to burn out on the gospel. He wants you to think sin is just a slap on the wrist. He wants you to forget about what God has done in your life. He wants you to forget that God rescued you from sin and that you are no longer enslaved to a lifestyle of sin. He wants you to forget the cross. He wants you to forget the image of Christ crucified. He wants you to stray away. He wants you to go to the distant land and never return to the Father. He wants you to forget God.

My prayer tonight was this:

Lord give us weapons to fight the enemy. Do not give us dull weapons Lord. Give us sharp and fierce swords that can pierce the enemies attack. Give us shields to battle the arrows of deceit and lies.

He has reminded you this John:

"The God of peace will soon crush Satan's head under you feet"

Romans 16.20

YES LORD!

His name is Jack. Part 一

God is God. Wow. Let that rest on your heart for awhile. Seriously, stop and let that rest on your heart... Why do I say that? Because you are about to reminded about a season of your life that you should never forget! A season of life that was extremely hard and frustrating but was LIFE GIVING! This is a story about God working in your life through Jack.

During the spring semester of your Junior year (2009), God had favor on you. He sent you into the field to share the gospel. You started meeting with about 4 different Chinese students and began trying to teach them English. Which consisted of you just helping them with their pronunciation of words and clarification of certain phrases and such. And then God added to your number of students to about 3 more students. Likewise, it was kind of the same kind of set up; teaching them English. It should be noted that some of the Chinese students that you started helping were women. What's the significance? You realized a couple of things: (1) "I feel like it would be better/healthier if in these one-on-one situations that I just meet with males" (2) "I heard of a girl named Hannah that loves Chinese people!"

(Quick backdrop about Hannah: Hannah and I were more of acquaintances than say great/strong/best friends. I heard through one of my friends something like, 'ya, Hannah is likely crazy for China and Chinese people'. So you awkwardly emailed her, not knowing if you had used the right email address, because their were two names that popped up for possible matches of Hannah. Hence the awkward email that said something like, "Hey Hannah, this is John, and if this isn't Hannah that knows John you can just disregard this email... I heard that you love Chinese people!" )

So needless to say, Hannah had responded back to your email and was so pumped about getting together with the handful of Chinese girls that wanted conversation partners. Amazingly, a couple of them wanted to learn about the Bible!

So you continued to meet with the three or four Chinese students for that semester. Funny thing would happen, there was this Chinese guy named Jack that started hanging out with Hannah and asking her questions about American society. In her honesty she told you about Jack and asked that you start to meet with him and help him with his english and shed some light into the American education system. So you started meeting with him toward the end of April. Your conversations with Jack was filled with comments from Jack like, "America is so much better than China... China is terrible and is corrupt... America is more stable.... People in Americans are better than Chinese people..."

As God would have it, we started talking about Him. Jack had many questions about Christianity and wanted to learn the Bible. Let me just say that again, Jack (from China: Christianity is basically condemned) had many questions about Christianity and wanted to LEARN THE ENTIRE BIBLE! So of course I said, "YES!" I called up one of the coolest guys I know Scott and asked him to help me teach God's Word to Jack.

We started in Genesis and hopped around some books and wound up in Romans.

More to come very soon...

Where have you been?

This is where I've been. I've been in Auburn, AL trying to figure out my life for the past two months. I've been thinking about what I want to do with my life. What kind of occupation I want to hold. Where I want to live. What my true passions and desires are. Things that truly make me come alive. Distinguishing differences between interests and passions. What it really means to live in faith in every aspect of my life. What it means to pray without ceasing. Trying to understand where music/photography/art/writing and those kinds of things fit in my life. Where they fit in my future. If they fit in my future. Should they fit in my future.

Wish list for John:

-Read more

-Read more

-Read more

-and read more

-More music in my life

Things that I've been reading:

-1 Thessalonians, 2 Thessalonnians, 2 Timothy, Ephesians, George Mueller's short prayer book, Hebrews

What I think I want to do with my life possibly:

-Teach high school social science? (Somedays yes, somedays no)

-Be doing full-time ministry

-Be doing foreign-missionary

Things that I think make me come alive:

-music

-teaching

I know what you are thinking: "Maybe you should be a music teacher"

The answer to that is a no. Why? Because I like writing music and playing music. I don't really think I like teaching about music. And I really don't know that much about music (theory and stuff).

I think that this was a really selfish blog... fact.

Church and Enslavement.

This is what I've been thinking about lately:

-What is the church? What is the function of the church? What is the purpose for believers and non-believers in the church? Are they the same? Are they different? 

-Has society shaped the way the church looks like? Why or Why not? Is that good or bad? 

-A lot of people say we need to examine what the first Church looked like in Acts (chpts. 2&4), is that what the modern church should look like? Why or why not? 

Enslavement:

-Atlanta is the largest harbor of enslavement and trade in the United States

-I'm tired of harking about enslavement and the atrocities that it is to people, I'm ready to do something.

-Website. Tshirts4Life. 

Morning Reminders.

Work is produced by faith. 

Labor is prompted by love.

Endurance is inspired by hope. 

-Paul.

My dream job.

Writing music.

Play in a band. 

Tour.

Make videos.

Take pictures. 

Travel the world. 

What is your passion?

What would you literally die for? You've heard this, "I'm passionate about this cause..." or "I'm passionate about sports" or "I'm passionate about changing the world". What does it truly mean to be passionate? Does it mean that you give a little time to a cause, or you dedicate every saturday to watching t.v.?  Passion is the willingness to die for it. 

What would you do if you were passionate about life? Not in that cheesy, cliche saying, "I just love life", but what if you were passionate about something to the degree of, it consumes your life? What if you were so "passionate" about it, that it called you into action? What if you were so passionate about it, that it made you an outcast? What if you were so passionate about it, that in this economic dependent society it told you to be poor? Truly. Ask yourself, that seemingly contradicting question, "would you die for life?" 

desire |dəˈzī(ə)r|

noun

a strong feeling of

I think that desire played a essential role in finding out what some of your passions were.  I believe that in your brokenness and repentance you consistently ask that God would refine your heart, mold it, take it and do with it as He will. And as part of that "process", He will refine your desires. That is to say, He refocuses your life, to Him. 

Jesus. He Changed the world.

All to often you forget who you are. You are just like that man who looks in the mirror and then turns away and forgets what he looks like. You are just like that wave that is tossed carelessly in the sea. 

Spiritual warfare. It is very real. It is something that you can either be afraid of or something that you face boldly. But there are certain degrees of spiritual warfare. One example of the typical temptation of the enemy to draw you far away from Him. That temptation sounds like, "hey wouldn't it be great to..." and then finishes up with "... that would be great for you". Temptation. It's part of spiritual warfare. 

The other kind of spiritual warfare that you can face is something a little bit more pressing. Something a little more consistent. Ya temptation is consistent. But the spiritual warfare that you deal with is consistently annoying. I mean, "it's sin!". How annoying! For three days straight you heard the same whispers of _____. You hear the same lies that you aren't good enough. You feel the pressure of condemnation and shame on your heart. You feel like you are in a dark place and you are surrounded by your imperfections. Not just for a night. Not just for a couple of hours or half a day. But for three days! You heard the same lies, you heard the same voice, you felt the same weight of sin on you. It was very consistent. It put you in the same place over and over; the place of despair. 

But then, you ask. He rescues. He redeems. He reminds you. He claims you. He cleanses you. He fills you. He points you to scripture. He surrounds you with brothers. He brings you back into truth. Back into light. Back into His arms. He blocks out the noise. He points you to the Cross. He points you to Himself. He leads you to repentance. He quiets your soul. He breaks your heart. He reminds you your purpose. He reminds you His purpose. 

Spiritual Warfare. In times of that, you draw near to Him. The enemy sees something great happening in His kingdom and does everything he can to stop it.  At whatever cost. The enemy draws near to your ear, and whispers lies. 

Today, the enemy and I saw something great happen in God's Kingdom in Auburn:

"Jesus. He changed the world."

-Unbeliever

Teaching.

You can attest that for your history class in high school that you had a teacher (probably a coach of some sort) that probably did some of these things. They showed movies and gave out worksheets for you to do out of the text book. Or they lectured the entire class period and you tried to write down as fast as you could what he/she was saying. And then leading up to the test you studied for hours over what the teacher said and taught about. Regardless of whether or not you agreed with it, you knew it, you memorized it, you knew that when you saw the word "Paul Revere" on your test you thought of "one if by land two if by sea". You probably don't know exactly who Paul Revere was and why he joined the revolutionary cause, but you know that he rode that horse screaming, "the British are coming". Some people call this binge learning. Where you try to consume as much information/facts as you can to later throw it up on test day. 

In my "Social Science Concepts and Methods" class (Education Course), we address this very problem (and yes it is a problem). We believe that (and it will later be discussed) teaching students in this fashion is a disservice to them. Sure, they might succeed in your classroom that year, maybe even until the end of their high school career. But the truth is that there is no root in what they know. For instance can you tell me who was directly effected by the Treaty of Versailles? (Probably not, unless you're a history major) So I'm currently learning how to promote critical thinking within my students. Which is a very tricky thing to do. You have to be patient and creative while at the same time not indoctrinate them with certain beliefs (mainly yours). So this is what this critical thinking should look like:

-Provide fundamental/basic facts for them (e.g. The history of the Battle of Gettysburg)

-Once they've grasped the basic idea of what happen you begin to ask them questions (What lead to the battle of Gettysburg? How do historians interpret what happened that day? Why do they interpret that way? What about the other side of the argument? etc.)

-You should then proceed to ask them a more personal question about the event (How do you interpret what happened there, given the primary documents that we've evaluated?)

Well if you've gotten this far in reading, I'm proud of you. This seems probably very boring. But let me shed some awesome light that was revealed to me. 

Jesus taught just like that. He taught inductively. That is, he tried to promote critical thinking. Unlike the scholars of his time (Pharisees), they taught deductively. For instance, I know now that in order to become a "Godly-man" in the bible days, I was sent to school from the ages of 6-12 in Jerusalem. There I would learn what the Torah (first five books of the bible) said. I would memorize them, I knew it, I knew when I saw the name Abraham I thought of Genesis 17:5 (For I have made you a Father of many nations...) etc. I didn't necessarily know what they meant but I knew where they were and what they said. 

Jesus asked questions all the time to His disciples (who do you say that I am? Matthew 16.13) (What do you think Simon, from whom do the kings of the earth collect duty and taxes-from their own sons or from others? Matthew 17.25). 

I would just like to say. Jesus. The Great Teacher.  

You are valuable.

valuable |ˈvalyə(wə)bəl|

noun (usu. valuables)

something that is of great worth

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much MORE VALUABLE than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6.25-34.

Grades. Future Occupation. Income. Marriage. 

Your heavenly Father knows what you need, you of little faith. He's provided for the birds and for the grass. Do you not think that He's going to provide for you? HE SENT HIS ONLY SON OUT OF A PERFECT PLACE TO A IMPERFECT PLACE, TO DIE FOR THE FORGIVENESS OF YOUR SINS! YOU ARE VALUABLE. But he says to "seek FIRST (not second, not later, not after you graduate, not after your married, not after you get a job) His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well"

Be reminded of this:

-Seek Him

-Seek Him 

-Seek Him

-He provides for birds and animals to eat, he provides for grass to grow.

-He says that you are valuable

-If you believe that those are just words, He put those 'words' into life. His son Jesus Christ.

-More than that He sent His son down to die and rise for the forgiveness of sins

-Jesus Christ (God, fully man and fully God), said that you are valuable.

valuable |ˈvalyə(wə)bəl|

noun (usu. valuables)

something that is of great worth

Would you?

To the desperate eyes and reaching hands

To the suffering and the lean

To the ones the world has cast aside

Where you want me I will be

I will go I will go 

I will go Lord send me

To the world to the lost

To the poor and hungry

Take everything I am

I'm clay within your hands

I will go I will go 

Send me

Let me not be blind with privilege

Give me eyes to see the pain

Let the blessings You've poured out on me

Not be spent on me in vain

Let this life be used for change

I will go I will go 

I will go Lord send me

To the world to the lost

To the poor and hungry

Take everything I am

I'm clay within your hands

I will go I will go 

send me

I wanna live for you, go where you lead me

I wanna follow you

I wanna live for you, go where you lead me

I wanna follow you

Let me throw up my thoughts on this blog...

I've been living a life of complacency lately. I've been lazy. I've been apathetic. I've honestly been pathetic. I'm tired of living a life for myself. I'm tired of choosing death. I'm tired of giving myself excuses. I'm tired of trying to justify myself. It's ridiculous. 

Believe that He is faithful. Remember that Jesus Christ is the umbrella. That He is the bridge to the Father. Remember that day when you stand before Him in judgement, he will look at your clothes and see one of two things. Are you dry or soaking wet? Are you blemished or are you white as snow? Did you believe in Jesus Christ with your life? Did you live under his umbrella, or did you take it for granted like it talks about in Romans 2? The time is now John. The time is not tomorrow. The time is now, it is time to stand up for what you believe in. Own up to your faith. Own up to Jesus Christ. Believe in Romans 1:16. Breath! Soak it in! Soak in His grace. Soak in His love! You know exactly what happens when you do! What?! What happens?! Maybe you've forgotten ye of little faith!! One of the most exciting things happens. YOU COME ALIVE IN THE SPIRIT! YOU BEGIN TO WALK IN FAITH! YOU WALK BLINDLY TRUSTING HIS HANDS! 

Let it happen. Believe that it will. He is Faithful John. He is constant. He does not change His love for you. He pursues you. He is around you, ALL THE TIME. Let him take control. Hand him the keys. Hand him your heart. Hand him your fears. Hand him your sin. HE HAS ENDURED IT ALL FOR THE SAKE OF HIS NAME! HE CAN HANDLE IT! 

He is not weak. He is bigger than love. He is more compelling than any argument. He is more important than the cure for any sickness. His life is worth more than the oxygen you breath. 

Let me remind you again John. He, who knew no sin, came and became your sin so that YOU could enjoy the Father forever.

Let me remind you again John. He stepped out of a perfect place into a imperfect place so that YOU could know Him.

So know Him and enjoy Him. The greatest sacrifice that you keep denying for earthly reward will end up in sorrow and despair.

It is paramount that you believe this. Jesus Christ crucified. Jesus Christ risen. Jesus Christ exalted. Jesus Christ alive. 

"I understand. I believe." 

There is a serious difference between these two statements. "I understand" doesn't necessarily mean that you believe it. You might understand the words that were said. You might begin to wrap your mind around a concept. "I believe" means I trust my life in Jesus. "I believe" means that I have full faith that Jesus Christ is enough. It means that I have faith that His umbrella that covers me from condemnation on judgement day will be enough. It means that the bridge that I cross (Jesus Christ) to the Father, is enough and strong enough. That it will hold when I walk from this life into eternity with Him. 

Jesus Christ.

Eternity.

No end.

Completion.

No tears.

No shame.

No fear.

No sickness.

His name is Grady.

Last night I laid awake for a really long time thinking about friends and family. I kept having flashbacks of the goofy times and the fun times. I came to the conclusion that I have forgotten so many different things that has happened in my life, so it would be in my best interests to jot these thoughts down. So I'm starting a series of blogs that will detail some important people in my life.

His name is Grady.

I don't even know where to begin with Grady. So I'll start with some things that I think of when I hear his name: 

my dad. corrects your grammar. asks questions at the dinner table that nobody knows the answer to. a God fearing Christian. avid golfer. goofy. a wise man. my life line on who wants to be a millionaire. insightful. ordained. throws the football with you. plays basketball with you after work. went swimming with you and your siblings after work. went to your soccer games. went to your football games. went to your lacrosse games. took you to play golf with his friends when you were little. taught you the bible. not the greatest math teacher in the world. makes fancy food. taught you life lessons. generous with his time. travels a lot. Loves the Lord with all His heart, mind and soul. Uses his job as a ministry.

Here are some life events that I don't want to forget:

-The times when I use to ask him to play chess with me (he won just about every time but once!)

-The times when we played pass (football) in the backyard on Sunday afternoons after church

-The times when he took me to play golf with his friends at Lakewood

-The times when we took the motorcycle to church so we could get a better parking spot

-The times we went and got frozen custard

-The times when I went to get donuts for the family on Sunday morning, instead of giving me cash, he gave me a big bag of change

-The times we played hide and seek in the pool (i've forgotten what we called it) at night

-The times we played bocce ball at the beach house

-The times we draw a huge rectangle in the sand at the beach, and we played a version of hide and seek

-The time we went and played golf in South Carolina and we saw a tornado, and instead of wanting to go immediately inside, Grady wanted to stay on the golf course and watch it

-The times we use to scare the trick or treaters at our house

-The time when he organized a huge capture the flag game for my birthday

-The time he told me that "the truth shall set you free"

-The times he use to grill food in Dallas by the poolside (the smell in particular)

-The times when I was/am in college when I go home and we as a family prepare a huge meal together

-The taste of the bruschetta that he makes

-The first time he made me a Jalapeno burger

-That one time after church we parked on the side of some random road and ate our taco bell lunch, and one of our friends drove by and asked if we were okay and Grady responded, "ya just eating lunch"

-Him waking me up late one night when I was younger, to come in and watch the 9th inning of some Texas Rangers game

-The many times he told me to take more than one club to hit a ball

-The time I watched him sing at church and tears of joy ran down his cheek

His name is Grady. He's my dad. He's one of the most interesting people you'll ever meet. He's awesome. He's a father filled with compassion. He said yes to adopting me. He said yes to Jesus. He said that he loves you. He said that he's not a perfect father. His name is Grady. Don't forget about him. 

Hurricane.

I need you like a hurricane. Thunder crashing, wind, and rain.

To tear my walls down. I'm only yours now.

I need you like a burning flame. Wild fire untamed.

To burn these walls down. I'm only yours now.

"Therefore, O house of Israel, I will judge you, each one according to his ways, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent! Turn away from all your offenses; then sin will not be your downfall. Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart a new spirit. Why will you die, O house of Israel? For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and Live!" Ezekiel 18.30-32. 

Repent! Turn away! I've come to this conclusion, I need divine intervention in my life for that to happen. I try to turn away on my own. I try to stop habitually sinning but it seems to end in failure and despair. Sure I can acknowledge my sin, I can acknowledge that what I do is wrong, but I need Him to rescue me. 

I have built a city here, half with pride and half with fear.

I just wanted a safer place to hide, I don't want to be safe tonight.

I need you like a hurricane, thunder crashing, wind and rain

To tear my walls down, I'm only yours now.

I need you like a burning flame, wild fire untamed.

To burn these walls down, I am only yours now.

I need Him to come wreck my life. I have built this 'grand city' like Israel did. I have made idols and worshiped them. I have chosen other gods. I need him to come burn these walls down. I desperately need His presence. In the depths of sin, only can He resurrect this body.  

Slow drive.

So on my way to South Carolina this weekend, I was driving east on I-20 toward Columbia from Atlanta. I was following the direction on my GPS the entire way to Pawley's Island when for some reason, my GPS directed me off of I-20 and on to County Road 176. Now as I'm sure that you are familiar with that road, you can attest that this road looks something like a deep and winding passage into the boonies of the country.  But regardless, I continued on this road to the unknown end. I had never traveled on this road before, but it was very intriguing. The roadside drive was beautiful. I came to the re-occurring realization that I love slow drives in the country side. Windows down, music OFF, and a peaceful sun. I enjoy these moment because they really just slow my thought processes down. They really make me start looking for things that I normally wouldn't be looking for. It makes me truly enjoy the magnificent, grand, and overly looked beauty of His creation. 

So, as happenstance would have it, I started thinking on this slow drive. I started thinking about the roads that we take, the roads that I take. When driving down an interstate, I zoom by. With really no care about what is around me. Sure, I look for cars, I look at big advertisement signs of corporate America and big peaches in Clanton, AL, but I never really look (search). It's just as though life continues on very rapidly and I don't ever take a chance to soak it in. That's what I love about these 'slow drives'. Don't you know what I'm talking about? Those slow drives that intrigue you so much? Those drives that make you want to stop and look at that barn or stop and venture into that old looking store? Or maybe even look into a local diner? The reason why I don't is because I'm on a 'schedule'. A schedule that limits me to what I can do. A schedule that is pressing. For example, I don't stop on drives back to Arkansas, because I'm on a schedule to get home in eight and a half-hours. The famous quote, "I don't have time to _____". We all know it, maybe to well. 

So, what does this all mean? What am I trying to say? Stop! Look around, truly relish where you are and what you see. On the way to school, on the way to class, on the way to eat, on the way... Don't let yourself become numb to what you have seen. Remember how MUCH it would take for you to create an image of a beautiful sunset, and how LITTLE it took for Him to speak it into being. Don't become so caught up in life that you forget to live your life. Look and seek. 

Truth be Told

I would like to start out by saying that I don't know specifics about my plans. But what I do know is very broad and life changing. I am literally sitting in a highschool classroom right now observing a teacher (part of my education program, and I want you to know that the students are all taking a test right now, this giving me the ability to blog right now).
So let me tell you what I do know: I know that I have a purpose. I know that He has a perfect plan for me. I know that walking in obedience, "walking by faith" is how my life will be satisfied. I know that I want to serve and be active in His kingdom. I know that in my heart I would go to the corners of the earth to share Love with people. I know that I want to see His return. I know that I want to spend eternity with my perfect Father. I know that I want a wife. I know that I want to have kids. I know that I am loved. I know that my family has contributed, molded, influenced, and has changed my life. I know that it hurts sometimes to cry. I know that I have experienced the Holy Spirit in my life. I know that I know very little. I know that Jesus is alive.
So why do I say all of these things that seem to be so nonsensical?
When I am isolated from God, I experience and go down some of the most dificult roads. But when I am in the presence, near, close whatever you want to call it, I come alive! What a beautiful moment. But that's what I hate, is that they are just moments, glimpses, short time experiences. Truth be told though, is that one day (hopefully soon) it won't be a glimpse or passing moment!
Well let me get back around to the point. I would love to be a college minister to international students. I would love to teach in a high school classroom.
So that's where I am, have been for awhile now. My friend quoted a book to me that said something along the lines of "faith isn't faith unless it's continally being tested and it is all you hold onto when you wake upon the morning". Living by faith, means what to me? You have faith because of what you've heard, which for me is found hidden in His word. And in His word, He has written a story of promises tome. But where I fail, is when I choose not to listen or harden my heart to those promises.